Chaos at the Malfoy Manor
by SalmiakkiSanji
Summary: This is a really short yet amusing story on how Death Eaters can really cause chaos at The Malfoy Manor... Voldemort has anger issues, the Death Eaters are just really crazy, and Draco... is... a dog! Find out!


Chaos as the Malfoy Manor

Once upon a time, Lucius was married to Narcissa and they had a son named Draco. Lucius was a bit strange. He had long blond hair and loved to cook. He secretly liked to knit too… only his wife knew that. Lucius often had to have death eater meetings at his house so he would cook dinner or snacks for his fellow death eaters.

Narcissa was the only normal one in the family… at least we think. Narcissa loved to shop at muggle stores such as Lowe's and Home Depot. She fixed everything in the house that was broken as well. She loved coffee and reading the newspaper the most.

Draco… well… was weird. He was convinced he was part dog. He had to go on a walk every day at 2:00 precisely. He also needed his hair combed by his mother; otherwise he would get fleas and have to go to the vet. He liked girls but the girls thought he was weird. Narcissa and Lucius both wanted him to get married and leave the house so they could enjoy their lives. Draco was very spoiled…

This is where our story begins. Lucius was checking the oven to see if his sulfae was done; Narcissa was combing Draco's hair… or fur… while he panted wildly, waiting for his treat. "Wow, Draco," Narcissa began. "You got a lot of fleas!" Draco tried to itch them out but the fleas constantly jumped around his fur.

"Well get him out of my kitchen! I don't want any fleas in my suflae!" Lucius protested putting on girly mitts to take it out of the oven. He was wearing a hair net and a flowery apron.

"Alright now, Draco … go outside," Narcissa said kicking him out. You see, Draco couldn't physically use the toilet, so he had to be let outside. Once Draco was outside, Narcissa went over to help Lucius with his cooking. "Like my mitts?" Lucius asked shoving them in her face.

"Honey please! Yes, yes, they're nice, now let's just let the suflae cool on the table," Narcissa said. Lucius went over to move it to the table but he tripped and the suflae fell out of his hands, and onto the ground.

"MY SUFLAEEEE!" Lucius screamed.

"Don't worry, sweetie! Draco will eat it," Narcissa comforted him.

"I don't want my stupid, stupid, son to eat it!" Lucius screeched stomping his foot every time he said 'stupid'. Narcissa shook her head and stomped away.

Draco walked in from outside and spotted the suflae. "Don't even think about it," Lucius said harshly. Draco didn't obey his father and ate the whole suflae. Lucius yelled, screamed, scolded, and yelped but Draco ate it all. "Bad boy!" Lucius said spanking Draco's behind. Narcissa came in and saw this strange sight. She sighed.

The following day, there was even more chaos. Voldemort was holding a meeting at their house and Lucius was making desert for them all. Draco was incredibly annoying.

"Narcissa!" Lucius yelled kicking an obnoxious Draco. "Can you keep him out while I'm cooking?" Draco was underneath Lucius' feet, waiting for something to fall.

"Sure honey," Narcissa obeyed, kicking Draco out. Narcissa then helped Lucius with some of the food, and then cleaned up the house which still had some of Draco's sheddings. The doorbell rang when Narcissa was still vacuuming. She waved her wand and the vacuum stopped. She opened the door to see Yaxley standing there. He was big and bulky and Narcissa discreetly removed every piece of glass in the room. "Lucius will be here soon. Why don't you wait in the meeting room?" Narcissa asked politely. Yaxley grunted.

Narcissa went into the kitchen to tell Lucius that Yaxley was here. Lucius nodded and waved his wand. All of the deserts were ready except for the cake. He wanted to make that by hand. By the time Lucius got to the meeting room, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Narcissa called. She opened to the door to see Severus Snape. That greasy black-haired man. Narcissa held her breath as Severus walked in. She hoped no grease got on the floor – she had just washed it!

Snape was followed by all the other death eaters. After about a minute, Voldemort appeared at the door as well. Narcissa waved, "Hi master!" Nagini bounced rapidly on his shoulders as Voldemort smiled hugely and waved back excitedly. Suddenly, he noticed he wasn't being evil so he acted snobby and entered the house.

Draco bounded into the meeting room distracting everybody from business. "Master, master," Draco nagged. Voldemort gave him a look but patted him on the head anyway. Lucius looked embarrassed and Bellatrix gave a tiny chuckle.

"Anyways, as I was saying… I have called you all here today for a very important matter," Voldemort was cut off by the sound of slurping. He turned his head to see Yaxley slurping on his chocolate pudding. "Yaxley," Voldemort said calmly yet annoyed. Yaxley sadly and in shame, put his pudding away. "Thank you." As Voldemort was about to go on with his point, Draco scratched the back of his ear, really loudly and obnoxiously.

As Voldemort grew angry, Narcissa got up. She grabbed Draco by the collar and coaxed him out of the room calmly. She sat back down as Voldemort was about to talk again. What stopped him was Peter Pettigrew's shriek because Snape had just greased on him. "Ok, please go clean off the grease and everybody be still!" Everyone was shocked and zipped their lips.

"Voldie…" Bellatrix's flirty tone only blew Voldemort's temper. "CRUCIO!" Bellatrix fell off her chair and on the ground, screaming in pain. "Anybody else?" Voldemort said staring at everybody in the room. Yaxley discreetly grabbed Bellatrix's pudding, but ruined the affect by loudly slurping on it.

"YAXLEY! CRUCIO!" Yaxley fell on the ground. Draco laughed and pointed at them twitch on the ground. "Please, master," Narcissa begged. "He didn't mean it." She put up a protective stance over Draco. "He really doesn't know what he's doing." Narcissa then whispered to Draco, "I thought I kicked you out!" Draco only laughed more hysterically.

Voldemort sighed. "Just get him out of here!" Narcissa nodded and drove Draco out of the room to leave more peace. Narcissa silently took her seat and Voldemort proceeded. "As I was saying," Voldemort managaged to tell them. He told them the mission ignoring many distractions. He ignored Peter picking his nose, Snape greasing on the chair, Bellatrix batting her eyelashes, and distant yelps from Draco.

All was going relatively well until the timer went off. "OOOOOOH! My cake!" Lucius screeched and ran from the room. Snape perked up letting grease fly onto Yaxley and Peter. They shrieked and Bellatrix took the opportunity to play 'footsies' with Voldemort. Narcissa tried to shoo Draco who had bounded into the room and onto the table, licking all the pudding cups. It was utter chaos.

Snape laughed only letting even more grease go on Bellatrix. She screamed which made Draco howl and Narcissa yell at him. Draco jumped off the table and soon under Lucius' feet again, which made Lucius throw the cake by accident on Voldemort's face. Draco licked the frosting off of Voldemort's face. This wasn't over. Yaxley broke some glass that was in the room and Narcissa screamed tripping over Draco. Voldemort was furious!

"RA RA RAWR!" Voldemort screamed.

Everyone froze, Draco in mid-lick, Narcissa about to punch Yaxley, Snape dripping onto Peter, Lucius crying over his cake, and Bellatrix putting her arm around Voldemort. Draco continued to lick Voldemort 10 seconds later after the awkward silence.

"RA RA RAWR!" Voldemort continued. Snape took out his video camera to see if he could catch anything good. "RA RA RAWR!" Voldemort screeched.

"Like a little girl!" Snape remarked forgetting that Voldemort had use of the Cruciatis Curse.

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort screamed. Snape screamed and like a horror movie, the camera fell. Everyone was shocked.

"Gosh, master you need to control yourself," Narcissa stated shaking her head. Everyone heartily agreed.

"Why don't we all go in the kitchen, I have strudels in there," Lucius suggested. Everyone cheered and made a mad dash for the kitchen. "RA RA RAWR!" Voldemort repeated.

Draco laughed and Narcissa dragged him away. The kitchen smells like fresh baked strudels and everyone had two each. There was one strudel left. Yaxley and Bellatrix both wanted it. They drew their wands and everyone ran for cover. Snape began betting on who was going to get it. As Yaxley and Bellatrix fought for it, Draco eyed it hungrily. Yaxley took a step closer but Bellatrix crucioed him. Yaxley crucioed Bellatrix once she was about to grab it. This fight went on for a while, so Draco jumped on the table and gobbled it down. "NOOOOO!" Bellatrix and Yaxley both cried in unison. Yaxley began to plan a funeral for it.

Suddenly, Yaxley was in a suit and there were chairs all around and everyone sat in them. "We are gathered here today…" Yaxley began. Snape blew his nose and Bellatrix even cried. Draco just barked, and when he did that, Yaxley broke down crying. Lucius took over. "We mourn the loss of this strudel, but we do believe it is now in a better place." At this point, Draco burped loudly, which made Yaxley and Bellatrix cry on each other's shoulders.

Voldemort rolled his eyes and soon it turned normal again. "Okay everybody. This meeting was chaos but I hope that we soon have a better one." Everybody wasn't listening and started with that chaos all over again.


End file.
